Stephen and Loura explore two main takeaways from John’s episode and how they have played out in their careers:
They also talk about the importance of unpredictability in creating engagement and how little many “big” decisions really are in life.
Transcript
Stephen Christopher 0:00 Hey everybody. Welcome to another edition of connect the dots as a part of the exciting unknown podcast. I'm Laura Sanchez together with my amazing host, Stephen Christopher. Hey, today we're going to connect some of the dots from our recent guest, john Mancuso. john was on three, four days ago. And one of the things that Steve and I always like to do is we like to kind of take step back, think about some of the things that we talked about with john, and then either connect them to things in our life or talk about how, what kind of takeaways we had. So is there anything that you want to start off by hearing? Yeah, let's jump in. So I think one of the important things that I got out of John's episode was the whole like living your passion. And I forget the saying, I know you'll remember exactly what it was. But basically, it was just a really good reminder for me that when you're living something that you're passionate about Then work becomes play. And we can often get caught up in this whole, like, what are we doing for work? And then what are we doing for play? And how do I create more balance? And if I'm working too much, how do I bring more play and more fun in? But in talking with john on the on the episode, it really reminded me about how important it is not necessarily to try to find more work or more play in order to balance the two out, but it's okay, how can I make sure that I'm doing something that I would classify as quote unquote, work? That is also play? or How can I maybe, you know, within one of my roles, maybe as the founder of wit, or some of the new stuff that we're working on? How can I make sure that I'm consciously bringing in the fun piece or I'm doing the fun pieces of that? That was a really big takeaway for me and as we were, when we were interviewing him, I was sitting there thinking about, okay, what are things on the list? Like if I wrote a list of the roles that I have, right, you know, the job I have the roles I have the things that I do for quote unquote, work. And I put a list of each of those things. And I Can I check the box of, Hey, this is worth. And this is fun. This is fun. So I kind of started doing that a little bit. And I actually already delegated a couple things that didn't check the play box. And just remember when we think about that, a lot of times like I had some guilt around and I was like, Oh, I'm gonna be giving something away. That's not fun. It's just not fun for me. Right? There's, there's people at wit and within your company or wherever, that they love doing Excel spreadsheets and figuring out data and creating these big strategies and thinking do this, whereas I hate a lot of that stuff. Or at least some of the, like Excel spreadsheets and stuff. It's just super boring to me. It's like it's work. It's arduous. It's not fun. So that was one of my big takeaways from the show was follow that thing that's more fun within your work, and if none of your work is fun, then I guess maybe start thinking About like he mentioned, hey, if your passion is like fly fishing, Unknown Speaker 3:03 right small go out and Stephen Christopher 3:04 do yeah, go out and do like a fly fishing excursion or take somebody fly fishing, and slowly start moving that way. But that was a really big takeaway for me. Yeah, I mean, I think his quote was make your passion, your profession. Right. And it's funny, because that resonated with me as well. And I took it to a little bit different area, which was thinking back in my past in in my career as an attorney and owning a law firm. And I think I, I think I knew that my work had stopped being fun. And so what I did and I think many business owners do, is we try and create new things to make it fun within the parameters of our profession, right? So I would be like, oh, maybe I'm going to try and merge with another law firm. I'm going to expand I mean, I was looking for Something that was fun within that. But I think it's really important to take a step back and say, am I trying to force a round a square peg in a round hole. And that's what for me led ultimately to ultimately, to me saying, you know what, it's time to move past that and to do something else, because I couldn't figure it out. I kept trying, and maybe it would be fun for a little bit. But that's not what john was talking about. john was talking about something that really is your passion, and that that's what gives you the wide power to keep going in and doing what you're doing. And so I took it as kind of this like, Hey, this is a test for all of us. If you find that you don't get that consistently, maybe that's trying to tell you something that what you're doing isn't really what you need to be doing. Yeah, yeah, we've got to remember I mean, especially now during COVID COVID time can either be a time of like Like flight or freeze, you know, if we do like the fight flight freeze thing, or it can be this time of looking at these expansive opportunities and saying, okay, you know, everything that I thought that was maybe right or I was on this path that can be, you know, completely ruined, it can be gone, it can be potentially gone. Maybe not even maybe it's not even maybe you're not even impacted at all right now. But it's a time when things are so different, that it's shaking things up so much, that it's an opportunity to say, Okay, what can I look at that really makes me happy and really makes me fulfilled? And what do I really hate doing? Like? I mean, Hell, even I think about this, like, use COVID as an excuse, right? Because even if you've been thinking about for years and years, like oh my gosh, I got to quit this job. I got to start this company. Use COVID as an excuse, Oh, you want to change something different in your business, right? We know, if you really think about it. There are a lot of business owners out there who have who've done exactly that which is I think This aspect of my business, whether it's serving a certain client, or it's having a certain employee, or it's a service that we provide that, yeah, we do it. And we just kind of went along with it, but it doesn't meet our core values. It doesn't meet our growth initiatives. Use coming as an exit as an excuse to be like, you know what, no, we're gonna stop doing that now. Yeah, that's really powerful, I think. Yep. Yeah, use it. You know, it's either like, you can either use it as a you can do it by choice, or sometimes, sometimes it's gonna make the choice for you. Exactly. Right. But you take advantage of it. Either way. Unknown Speaker 6:39 Usually, it's better if you choose it yourself on the other Stephen Christopher 6:42 side, right? It's always it's always always better if you choose it from a place of, Hey, I'm going to consciously choose this path as opposed to waiting, you know, think about people that are unhealthy. I mean, looking at john, your physical trainer, this example of somebody that is extremely unhealthy and has a heart attack and then decides To change, yeah, it's a lot harder and easier to change from a place of, Hey, you know what, I've gained a little bit of weight, I'm losing a little bit of energy. It's a lot. It might not be easier. It's a lot less impactful on others and potentially you in life than waiting for something as big as like a heart attack. Unknown Speaker 7:18 Absolutely. Absolutely. Awesome. Any other takeaway? Yeah, so Unknown Speaker 7:21 kind of Stephen Christopher 7:22 a little bit in line with what you're just talking about the creativity, actually, so I pulled this. So towards the end of that show, I remember john was talking about and you were talking a little bit about how he's bringing in these other elements, his workouts like decks of cards, dice, a game of battleship, you know, all of these different things, bring it into constantly make it more constantly make something that is typically very unchanging and relative, relatively, I would say boring for most other trainers that I've seen. He's bringing in these other elements and so it really made me start To think about, how can we bring in other How can we constantly think about other things outside in the world that we could bring back into our business. So when we're out in the world, you know, walking around the grocery store, in Vegas on vacation, just looking around and paying attention to what's going on and say, hey, how can I bring that back into my business like it with customer service and client experience is one of our things. And I was thinking about, okay, where's somewhere that I've been, that maybe I could, I could learn something from it. I was thinking about these really nice resorts in Cabo. Yes. And how the customer service is just absolutely amazing. And I was like, wow, how can I bring something that they're doing into wit? And so just I think paying attention about what can I do to bring things into my life, my business that are generally wouldn't be connected? Yeah, yeah. And make it more interesting and I guess a little bit different and more consistently, you week, we did something similar at my law firm, one of one of our initiatives one year was to really focus on customer service. And what does it feel like to what do we want our clients to feel? Right? And so we looked and said, Okay, well, where's an experience? And we ended up taking the entire firm to the broad more. But it wasn't just about going and be like, Oh, yeah, we get to go this really nice hotel, have a retreat. We went beyond that, which was the customization of what each person received. So each of our employees when they checked into their room, they had a hand selected gift from me, that fit their either their passion, a hobby, something they were going through at the moment. And it was about Wait a minute, each client is unique. And john talked about that too. Right, which is he wants to connect one on one with someone to really make them know Yeah, there's a whole lot of clients that out there besides you, but for this moment, it's you. Yeah. And I think that those are really key takeaways of how you could have an impact on other people. Yep. Yeah, I love that one too, like just taking the couple seconds to make eye contact with somebody in your business or somebody that you're responsible for, as a leader, to send a little message to send a little video. Those things go a lot further than we sometimes think. Or that we might recognize where I think I mentioned on the show where it's like, a lot of leaders think, Oh, well, you know, Jim needs some help. But I don't have 30 minutes until like a week or two. And so what happens is, is that you know, gym goes another week or two still need any help. And as a leader, we think sometimes I'll want off time to give it to them yet and I don't want to be rude and only give them one minute or two minutes. But that one or two minutes when it's authentic, and truly caring and truly taking the time to be fully present and connect and think about what is Jim most need. That is all A lot of times more impactful. I was gonna say 30 minute one on one or going like, Oh, I have to do this. And yeah, I think you hit the key, which is it has to be authentic no matter which one it is. And one of the things john said is like, being that catalyst that catalysts from and you and I've talked about this before, you're not necessarily going to take someone from. I'm here, I'm low. I don't want to be here. I hate my job. I hate my life. Everything is wrong to Oh my God, I'm a rock star. Everything I do is great. That's not what it's about as a leader, right? It's about Oh, yeah, you're here. Okay, how can I help you get just this little bit more and then maybe the next day is this much more, but maybe I'm not even responsible for everything that comes after that. Maybe I only do this piece because that's what we all need is somebody to just give that one little extra thing to get over it. And that reminded me you know, Steven, you and I've talked about kind of conscious companies and the concept of you know, many companies right now they're looking for we tie who we are to a cause. All right, we tie it to, you know, oceans because the owners passionate about that or to homelessness or to hunger. And you've been talking a lot lately about that. Wait a minute, it's about the people. And that really resonated with me is like, your company being the catalyst for people, whether that's internal or external. that resonated all with you? Yeah, I mean, it definitely does. I didn't think about it in that I didn't think about it in those terms. But yeah, I mean, obviously I've been talking a lot about, I believe that businesses are here to serve people not causes. Because I believe if we serve the people at the individual level and help them be their true self come out and feel safe and feel confident and be able to use their creativity and use their emotions and awareness to really go down the path that they are the most able to serve. They're going to show up amazing at work. And they're also going to be the people that change the world, right? Whether it's just, they help their family and their friends in a small community, they help serve those people. And then those people go out and do the same. Or maybe it's somebody that, you know, worked at width for two years, and we encourage them, and they go out and like, create something that literally cleans up the oceans and a time line that nobody has ever done before. So it's all about the serving those individuals at the highest level. And you're right, john talked about how important it is to like, give that that attention, but still having the awareness Yeah, everything else that's going on in your business and the awareness of why you're here. I don't think Yeah, you can't just focus on one and let all the other not have no relevance whatsoever. Yep, absolutely. Um, you know, one of the things that I love that he said is Like when his career at the at the in the mortgage industry came to an end is he gave himself the what's the word I'm looking for? He gave me the permission he gave me a pity party. Yeah. And I think for me, I can speak that. What happens is I don't give myself the permission to have the pity party. So what ends up happening is, instead of taking that time to be really present with the little pity party, what happens is it lingers for a long, long period of time. And I basically just sit there and beat myself up about it over and over and over and over. And, you know, maybe it's weeks, maybe it's months, maybe it's years. It just depends but giving yourself that opportunity to have that little pity party, and I think lean into and feel those emotions and those things that we're feeling and just know that that's okay. And then now we've processed through those and now we can take the next step with confidence and excitement. You know, I think most of us depending on your age, depending upon your upbringing, you know, I know I was taught to suck it up. You know what, yeah, life, life is hard life sucks. You get knocked down, you get laid off, you lose your job, you lose your company. What do you do? Well, you get back on the horse. And I think that that serves us well. But there's more to it than just that right? There. Is that taking of a time to be like, okay, yeah, this is horrific. And this sucks. And it's horrible and, and feeling it and really feeling what that means. and allowing yourself to heal a little bit, but also not allowing it to drag on and being able to be like, okay, yeah, I've done this. It was horrible. I felt this, whatever you need to do, but then be able to get back on the horse. Yeah. And john said that right, which is at some point, you gotta say, okay, I've done it. Now. What am I going to do moving forward and I think that's a key point too, because It's easy to get sucked into that. I'm going to look at something on my phone. Do you know a guy by the name of you find this. My friend Robbie, Rue Hawk has been sending me a QA Jeff Brown. Have you ever read any of this stuff? I think so. I'm, I'm just now getting familiar with him. But he's talking a lot about trauma avoidance. And how in our world, you know, the quote was, What doesn't kill you makes you stronger? Yeah. And and we've all heard that before, right? Again, it's that like, suck it up. You're going to be better because of this. And a little bit of his premise, and I'm not going to do it justice at all. But a little bit of his premise is, you know what, that is just avoiding what's really happening. And you think about Rene Brown, you think about shame, right? Where does that all come from? It comes from avoiding trauma, avoiding really emotional things, and pushing them down and saying, okay, you just got to get on with it. As opposed to being able to lean into it, heal it, accept it, then grow from it. And I think those are some skill sets that perhaps we haven't been taught. Yeah. Yeah. This is what we're going to talk about one of the most elite physical trainers in the world, and this, this is where it goes to. And it's interesting because when you start to look at the thread and the theme through a lot of the shows, we've started to talk more or have people share more about like, emotions, and leaning into those and feeling them and being okay with them. Because I think we're starting to understand more as humans that that stuff is okay. And so important, and it's in it. It's a it's an accelerated path when we start to do that. Yes. You know, john talked about speaking of emotions, I think you asked him about the little, you know, ego on your shoulder, and I liked his visualization of it, because that's how I tend to do a lot of things of, you know, yeah, there's a little ego there and he maybe starts talking to me If he starts saying some bad stuff, and it's not necessarily serving me well, but he's like, I don't ignore him, but I also don't just dismiss him. Yeah, what I start to do is to say, okay, is it consistent? Is it the same thing? Or does he get farther and farther away? And I hear him squeak as opposed to yelling in my ear. And if he's continuing to yell that maybe then I really do need to say, Okay, what is this really about? I thought that was a really good visualization of a way to address that. Yeah. And that was actually one of my points, too, is it because I love how my perspective on it essentially, was, he had mentioned the word intuition, and how this little thing this little voice starts to fly away and it gets further and further away. And he kind of addressed it as his intuition. And so if the thing kept coming back the the, you know, the voice kept coming back or that same thing kept showing back up for him. He would address it, but otherwise he would trust his interest. and be like, yes, I'm going down the right path. And I'm going to continue in that little voice is getting softer and softer and softer and further and further away. So for me that was, you know, because I love talking about intuition, and awareness. And so it's like, Alright, if I have an intuition that this is the right path, and all of those things that the ego says and yells about, Oh, my gosh, you're never going to make it. How are you going to afford it, you're going to go bankrupt, you know, you're going to lose your house, whatever, all of those crazy things. If those start to get softer and softer, that means that your intuition is right. And then if they keep getting louder, maybe it's like, okay, you didn't go deep enough on your intuition. You didn't ask enough questions. But that was a really cool gauge that he had talked about in alignment with following your intuition. Unknown Speaker 19:45 Yeah. Awesome. Unknown Speaker 19:47 Um, I don't have I don't have anything else specific that I'd written down. I mean, I actually have a Stephen Christopher 19:54 ton of stuff that I could talk about always come from this episode, but want to keep it relatively Short and so Unknown Speaker 20:02 do you have anything? Oh, I don't. Stephen Christopher 20:03 Yeah, I think those were some of the big takeaways for me. So Unknown Speaker 20:07 Fantastic. Well, I forgot I don't even know how we how do we wrap these up? Stephen Christopher 20:11 Oh, well, this is part of all part of the exciting unknown. So today when we were starting Laura said, Oh, you know, I don't ever do the intro. I'm gonna do the intro. So I pointed if you're not watching a video, I looked at her to do the outro. Unknown Speaker 20:22 And I'm like, Oh, Stephen Christopher 20:25 no, we say thanks for listening and to another edition of connect the dots from the exciting unknown podcast. Hope you will stay tuned next Monday when we'll have a new episode. And until then, don't forget to embrace the exciting a node. Awesome. Thanks so much, everybody. We appreciate you have an awesome rest of your day. Unknown Speaker 20:49 That was hilarious. Unknown Speaker 20:52 Yeah, that was hilarious.
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