Loura and Stephen will discuss their takeaways from the prior episode with Jon Vroman.
They will talk about the things they’ve implemented, the ones they want to try out and how Jon’s insights are helping them embrace the exciting unknown.
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All right, Hey, what’s going on Steven Christopher here with my awesome co host Loura Sanchez. And welcome to today’s episode of connect the dots from the exciting unknown podcast where Laura and I are going to chat about the interview we did recently with one Amazing. JOHN Vroman, Laura, what’s going on?
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Now much What’s happening? You’re looking at it. This was
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fabulous. Whatever it is.
Unknown Speaker 1:11
Yeah. Yeah, it feels fun. It feels great. So this was a, this is a really cool interview. Because you know, both of us have known john for quite some time. And we’ve gotten to kind of watch his story unfold and just see all the amazing things that he’s done. And he, for me, he has been just this amazing epitome of somebody who has spent time becoming aware of what he wants and what he doesn’t want, learn to listen to his feelings and really learn to hone intuition. And the cool thing is, is that you know, going all the way back to when he left Cutco which was you know, a fantastic job. He had a great group of friends. He really loved it, but something was missing. He followed his intuition, despite not really knowing how it was going to turn out, and really having like, literally no path or anything like that. I mean, I’ve even heard him talk before where he’s like, you know, you probably shouldn’t leave quite like I did, or quite as quick or quite as, without as much of a plan as he had to be a speaker. But it worked out. So he has a very high tolerance for, I guess, what we would consider to be risk or the unknown. But I love his story because it proves that this stuff works, this stuff that we’re talking about about, you know, learning to hone intuition, learning to trust our gut to lean into these feelings. And follow that because there is a better plan or there is a cool plan that’s about to be laid out, even though we can’t see it until we look back and then you know, we can connect the dots as we’re talking about and as Steve Jobs talks about, but I love Roman story, because not only did he do it once, right, he left Cutco. When became a fantastic speaker built up that business started front row Foundation, you know, an amazing nonprofit, but he built up where he was the number one collegiate speaker in the US year after year after year. And then he felt the urge and left again.
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I said, Okay, about it’s like, yeah, that’s, He’s my hero. I mean, one of my heroes, honestly, because so many of us say, oh, we’re going to do this, we want to do this, but to actually do it. And you know, I think one of the things john said is, hey, there’s no right way to do it. And he’s not suggesting that basically, you know, burn all ships and just junk isn’t necessarily right for everyone. But the fact is, is that if you do something, no matter how you do it, if it’s what your intuition says, it’s going to work out, okay.
Unknown Speaker 3:52
Yeah, yeah. I have a little I have a little john Vroman angel that sits on my shoulder and when I’m making these types of decisions, or like listening to things, it’s it shatters in my ear. And it’s it’s pretty spot on. Every time sometimes it chats a little louder than than other times.
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Does it knock you upside the head a few times? Okay, come on, Steve. You’re not listening.
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Yeah, it does. I promise. I got
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a couple of them that do that,
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that are like, Alright, what what are you doing? Like you’ve had this. You’ve honed your awareness, you’ve had this idea, you know that, you know, you know that it’s a right step or a right path, may just do it already. And then the rest of the things will pan out, the rest of the dots will get connected. And I think it’s important that we always remember when we take that step towards something else and away from something that we’re that we’re doing currently. When we take that step. It’s to not hold on to exactly what that next step is. So meaning if we feel like Oh, hey, you know, we want to start a nonprofit, right? Let’s say that I’m feeling very called to start start a nonprofit. And do X, Y, and Z. Well, let’s say that calling was really strong. And I took a step in that direction, move toward it started and was starting to run it. But it’s okay if that thing doesn’t actually continue to feel like the right thing. Because it could just be a step in that next direction. So not judging ourselves. If we’re like, oh, I took this step. And it was wrong. It wasn’t wrong. Keep moving forward. We’ve got to keep moving forward. And just remembering that, you know, there’s no finish lines here. These are all just milestones.
Unknown Speaker 5:32
Yeah, I mean, I’ve learned that from you know, when I left the law firm, I didn’t know what was next. I didn’t know exactly other than you know, I love teaching. I’ve always enjoyed teaching it it gets me excited. I think I’m pretty good at it. And when I asked my friend, you know, what should I do feel like, Oh, you should teach you should teach. And so I was like, Okay, well, I’m going to explore this. And so I was like, was able to get on the adjunct faculty at a local community college and started teaching, I was like, Okay, this is it. And it wasn’t it. Right? It but I didn’t give up on teaching, I still enjoy the aspects of teaching. I just recognize that it is a teaching in a college environment as an adjunct professor, that doesn’t mean maybe someday I won’t become a full time faculty member who knows. But instead of saying, oh, Laura, that was stupid. You wasted a year trying to figure this out? No, I didn’t. I actually refined what I am looking for in a teaching situation. And now I know that so it wasn’t a waste of time.
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Yeah. And you got to teach. So even though you didn’t end up liking that exact system or structure. Again, it’s remembering to look for fulfillment in each of these steps, right? So you were still doing something that you loved. And like I don’t know, did you ever have times where I know I have where you were like, oh, you’re like, I know this isn’t right. But I’ve committed to it. I’ve got to see it through for another three months. And this kind of sucks. It. Did you ever have a time like that? And if so, were you able to separate the two and say, Okay, I’m still loving the teaching part. I know that this thing isn’t for me. And that’s okay. And I just won’t continue to do it that way.
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Yeah, I think that that happened for me after the first semester. I was teaching a class that I didn’t really love, but that’s what they had available. And so I was like, Okay, you know what, this is not it. I’m getting great experience in terms of teaching and I have some students who will give me good positive feedback, but ah, this subject, isn’t it. So I could have just said absolutely. Never again, but I decided to do another semester with a different topic that was more aligned with mine. expertise. And what I learned from that was, you know, it felt better, but it still wasn’t it. Yeah,
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yeah. Yeah, it’s interesting. And so let’s, let’s say the scent because one of the really cool or Well, one of the big chunks that we talked about with john was feelings, feelings and emotions, right? Which is not at all where I would have guessed the show was going to go but right, like it obviously needed to go there. And I know, for me, it helped a lot as a great reminder of leaning into these feelings and these emotions and how a lot of times I think, we think about feelings as kind of like a negative thing almost. But the way we’re talking about it, or at least for me, in the way we’re talking about it is, you know, these feelings and these emotions are a guide to really, really great things, you know, to basically kind of like, you know, maybe it’s like the bumper, the bumper things on the side of a bowling alley. So when you become aware enough that
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how you bowl Steven Yeah, really use the bumper I love it. Do you also use that little rain thing that makes sure your ball goes straight?
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Yeah. Isn’t that how you’re supposed to ball?
Unknown Speaker 9:06
Well, I guess it is. I mean,
Unknown Speaker 9:08
I don’t understand why would if the bumpers are there? Why wouldn’t you put them up?
Unknown Speaker 9:12
Why would they? Why would Why do you get tools in life if you’re not gonna use them?
Unknown Speaker 9:16
Yeah, right. I mean, come on us. I’m Derek bowling. Sorry.
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Okay. Your feelings are like bumpers to guide you.
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Yeah. And so
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there’s this level of like, becoming aware of them, right. And when we become aware of them, we can actually use them. And so the the bowling analogy is that once we start to become more aware of them, we can use them as guides to stay more in the lane that we desire. And I know for me, at least in the past, I’ve always I’ve thought of feelings and emotions as not a great thing. I mean, that’s just kind of how I was raised and so I had to work through that. But, you know, john did a great job in our conversation about About how important those are and how I don’t remember exactly what he said, but he referenced like, you know, when you have those feelings that either draw you to something or push you away from them, you’ve got to listen to those, you know, that is that guide. When you when you know it in your gut, or you can feel it in your gut, like you’ve got to follow that path. And so, learning to be aware of those, and knowing that those are positive things that guide us and not being afraid of them. Is is a really cool I mean, you know, I could have talked or we could have talked to john for hours about intuition and how amazing of a skill it is and how important it is. But
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yeah, the emotional side to
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using those guidance was was really cool.
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Yeah, you know, and I taking that a little bit step further. For me. It is his analogy about above the line and below the line of those emotions that you’re feeling To be able to say, Okay, these emotions, whether it’s, I’m angry, I’m afraid, I am feeling desperate, right? Those are, quote below the line emotions and being able to say, Okay, wait a minute, I’m gonna have a conversation with you, but I am below the line. And I don’t want to be here, but I am. So you have to acknowledge those feelings. In terms of Okay, you don’t want to, if you’re if your intuition kicks in as a result of those feelings, it’s probably not because what I took away, it’s probably not going to be your intuition that you’re feeling. It’s really that emotion is overcoming or it’s blocking out intuition that’s really there. So recognizing that And likewise, if I’m having a conversation about Oh, I’m super excited. I am feeling empowered. I’m feeling energetic. Okay, I’m above the line. But does that color then how I see everything? And I don’t want to hear any of the bad stuff. So I think almost those those feelings and how they interplay with your intuition is a really good thing to get your handle on. It’s something I’m going to be working on. For sure. Yeah,
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yeah. And to piggyback on that, we talked about the how, in his past life when he was younger, he would answer everything with positivity, right. I know, for me, I’ve done that for a long time. And just in the last, I mean, geez, not even that long. I’ve started to recognize that there’s this next deeper layer, that it’s okay to look at and it’s okay to address and that it’s not a negative thing. And so that was just, you know, that was great, especially coming from somebody like him, who for so many years has been such a positive influence that It’s okay to start accessing these different emotions and that they’re highly beneficial.
Unknown Speaker 13:06
I mean, I know with you and I, even our friendship, we’ve been friends a long time. And it is really only probably been in the last maybe two years, year and a half, where we’re having some different kinds of conversations because you are sharing more of like, Hey, you know what, I’m, I’m not in a good place. I’m freaked out about such and such, or I’m really worried about this. And before that conversation, we would have skirted around the issues. You know, you might have said, Hey, you know, I’m feeling a little bit of anxious about this, and I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I know it’s going to be okay in the end. But it allows us to have different kinds of conversations, which I think means that we have better connection.
Unknown Speaker 13:54
Yeah, yeah, completely and it knots in awareness thing, right? Because when we had the was when we had those conversations in the past. That’s, that’s what I would actually think I would truly believe that. Yeah, it wasn’t a big deal or I didn’t feel that frightened by it or there wasn’t that much fear and that much scarcity or whatever it was. So I was speaking what was truth in my mind at the time, but as I’ve continued to develop awareness, that level of awareness is like, Oh, wait, no, actually, you are like really triggered or freaked out by this? And let’s, let’s have a conversation about it. Or let’s, you know, let’s kind of get it out, I guess. Because a lot of times for me, once I get it out, it’s like, it just goes away. Or at least a lot of it goes away. You know, because what might have taken months to process and maybe I didn’t even know why I was frustrated about something or scared about something. Now could take, I don’t know 30 minutes, you know, sitting with you having a margarita and tacos and it’s just gone. And you know, it’s processed through really, really quick and that’s an awareness thing.
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I had that happen just just recently. And I have what I would call a, quote, deep dark secret, um, that, you know, there’s only a few people in my life that actually know it. And I talk about it very rarely. And I, I’ve come to, I thought I had come to grips with it and that I was okay with it. But then it’s been eating up in different ways. And I was like, okay, maybe there is something there. And I actually told someone else. And after I did that, I was like, Oh, yeah, okay, this really isn’t a big deal. And I really do know how to navigate it. If it was to come up again. I know I can either step through it and talk about it or I can still be genuine but still be true to myself, but only because I was able to take that step in action. share that. That’s awesome, very powerful, very, very powerful, which made me think of that you talked about being triggered. And john said something about the least trigger. I think it was talking about a fight with his with his wife, right? The least triggered person is responsible for the conversation. Yeah. And I’ve actually been using that. I haven’t had a real nasty fight yet. But I’ve been using that. You know, Paul, and I’ve had some difference of opinions about a few things. And I’ve noticed I get really triggered. Like, he could say two words and I’m like, boom, I’m there. And I’ve been trying to say, Okay, wait a minute, I’m triggered. I’m having this response based upon this feeling which has merit, but I’m gonna let him carry on this conversation. And when I’ve been able to do that, what I found is that where he goes with the conversation is not as intense, it’s not as bad as I thought it was going to be. And actually, it’s been it’s been good, but only because I’m letting him control that conversation instead of me trying to control it from my place of being triggered. Awesome.
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Thanks, john. Right? Yeah,
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yeah, I think you know, this is the important part about this, these episodes that we record for connect the dots is. So often we learn stuff, we read a book, we go to a seminar, whatever, right? And then, a lot of times we forget that information. And so when you and I were creating this, when we’re laying out this, this podcast, we’re like, wait, we should go back and like, talk about these things, and then figure out, you know, what are we testing? What do we desire to implement, so that we can pull even more information out of each of these and it’s not just this, you know, great information, and then you stop the podcast, get out of your car, go to work, whatever it is that you’re doing, and actually use it.
Unknown Speaker 17:58
Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, it’s working so far. So I’m a believer in it.
Unknown Speaker 18:03
Awesome. Cool. Anything else on your list from our interview with john Roman?
Unknown Speaker 18:11
Like you said, there was so much that he said, I mean, I’m looking at my notes. And I have, like, you know, I have like five pages of stuff. So there’s so much more I could talk about. But I think that those are the few things that really are at the top of my list in terms of what do I want to work on and what I think’s really super beneficial. Awesome.
Unknown Speaker 18:29
Yep. I think I got the biggest ones for me, you know, intuition, emotions, feelings and stuff. Those were really important. So all right, well, Hey, everybody. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of connect the dots where we recap our interview with the amazing john Roman. And until next time, embrace the exciting unknown.