Loura and Stephen will discuss their takeaways from the prior episode with Trish Blain. They will talk about the things they’ve implemented, the ones they want to try out and how Trish’s insights are helping them embrace the exciting unknown.
Stephen Christopher 0:06
All right. Hey, what’s going on Stephen Christopher here with my awesome co host, Laura Sanchez, and welcome to today’s episode of connect the dots from the exciting unknown podcast. Laura, what’s up?
Unknown Speaker 0:22
You know, it’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood. I’ll take it so excited that we get to talk about Trish played in our episode with her in some of our takeaways from it.
Stephen Christopher 0:34
Cool. Let’s rock and roll them.
Unknown Speaker 0:36
All right, want me to jump in first? Yeah, go for it. Okay. Um, I mean, those who listen to the episode, I think we talked about the fact that Stephen and I have both worked with her. And so a lot of the things that she talked about weren’t necessarily fresh, but there were some things
Unknown Speaker 0:55
but one of the things for me is
Unknown Speaker 0:58
the continuous reminder that You know, there are basically four things that most every human being wants in life, they want connection, they want expression or being able to kind of show up as yourself. They want that purpose or the why. And then they want growth and whether that growth is in terms of their professional development, or money or power control. And in all, every human being wants those four things. And that when you have those, even if it’s just for a moment
Unknown Speaker 1:31
to be, that’s when you’re like, hell, yes,
Unknown Speaker 1:34
this is it,
Unknown Speaker 1:35
whatever that is, in that moment is because all of those four forces come together. And that’s what we seek to be it. It is a reminder of when I say oh, I want to be fulfilled, I’m looking for something more. What am I really looking for? I’m looking for when all four of those things come together. And, you know, it’s it’s Nirvana. It’s fabulous. But then I mean, some of my work with her, you know, I’ve realized that most of my, where I’m most comfortable because of my skills because of my upbringing because of my, just my past, he is, I’m really good with purpose in growth. I feel very comfortable in that arena. But what I lack are in the other two areas, and so really being able to recognize that and then start to learn some new skills there.
Stephen Christopher 2:32
Yeah, I mean, Trish has a great framework for making this really, really simple, right? And in that framework with those four forces makes it to where you can quickly start to analyze what might be off in a situation and then you can take it even deeper into what may have been something in the past that caused, you know, a massive increase in one or a massive decrease in one ad. And it’s super helpful. So I know she’s put a lot of I mean, what, 30 years into developing this and studying it. And so it’s a super helpful framework that that she’s built. Yet I like the way you say it’s almost Nirvana, right? Because we think that we’re going to have or we think we’re looking for all of these things to line up all these perfect things to line up. And we’ve talked about this a lot, actually, in other episodes, but looking for that thing to happen, and then we will experience fulfillment. Well, again, it’s like finding fulfillment in the moment. And this is something that helps kind of tweak that in those moments to say, Okay, why am I maybe not fully fulfilled here? Or why am I fearful or why am I angry or anxious or frustrated? And this is a great framework to be able to go back and visit that say, Okay, which one of these four forces is not being met or not being brought into this situation and a lot times now since you know, since I’ve known Tricia working with her, when I’m in a situation like that, now I can, I can pretty quickly identify which one is missing, or which one maybe is turned down a little bit too much and added in, right? So if it’s, you know, connection, so if I if all the other pieces of a business deal or a client partnership or a conversation are lining up, but there’s something that’s off I might say, oh, wow, it’s connection. And maybe that maybe it’s lack of connection because I’m, you know, my my mind is way over here on something else that was seemingly, quote unquote, more important, or maybe I’m just, I don’t know, maybe I’m just distracted and so I can bring myself back and say, Okay, wait, connection, like, look at the person in their eyes, like, what are they actually feeling like? Why are they so passionate about this and reengage and it helps get that fulfillment in each of those moments?
Unknown Speaker 4:57
Yeah, I think that’s I think that’s very, very true. Did you have any other takeaways from her specifically? Yeah. I
Stephen Christopher 5:05
have a lot of takeaways. And but let’s let’s start here. So this is something that is, I think is very important as an entrepreneur, and as a life like a high, quick start on the personality test. And I like my freedom. And I like to be able to create and, you know, I’m your typical, like, ADHD entrepreneur. And one of the things that she talked about was how when structure is done, well, it actually allows for more creativity. So a lot of times in my past, I always think, Okay, well, if I have pure freedom, and I can go do this, and then I can do that, then I can do this. And then I can do that. And oh, that’s a good idea to that. I used to think of that as freedom. And I used to think of that as creativity, right? I was creating all of these things. But what happened is, if I turn around and look back It actually looks more like a path of a tornado went through, you know, I was building this cool little town in front of me. But then I was running through the town and there’s a tornado right behind me, it was just like, creating chaos. And so I creating more structure, it actually, it actually gave me more opportunity or gives me more opportunity to be creative, and see these things grow and become much more than they would have in the past. And that’s really cool, because I’ve fought structure for my entire life.
Unknown Speaker 6:34
And this is a great conversation, can we go there because that is part of the dynamics in our relationship, right? Is that, you know, I like structure. I’m good with structure, right? Because it’s one of my it’s one of my skills and my traits that has served me well in terms of growth and purpose,
Unknown Speaker 6:58
Unknown Speaker 6:59
my stream is that structure then sometimes doesn’t allow me to have connection. It doesn’t allow me to have sometimes that that true expression, because I get stuck in the box. So one of the things that you and I are working on together and through this podcast is to say, Okay, I can bring structure, you can have this structure, which allows you to do what you do. And when you do what you do best, which is create that town over there and have this visionary and, and be very, very expressive. I then am drawn outside of the structure to be like, Oh, yeah, this is really cool. I’m gonna be a part of that.
Stephen Christopher 7:41
Yeah, yeah. Think about it, like a like a bouncy ball that somebody throws inside of a actually here, I’ll give a better one. So think about a racquetball court, right because a lot of people can envision a racquetball court it’s it’s basically completely closed in on all sides, top and bottom. And when you when you hit a racquetball really hard At one wall, it bounces off all kinds of walls, you know, the front, the side, the top, the left the right. And it just kind of keeps going. Well think about if all of those walls and that structure wasn’t there, you’d hit the ball once, and it would literally just bounce out the back and you’d have to and it would stop bouncing, it would lose the momentum, it would just roll out into the dirt and it would be stagnant. So the the structure actually helps keep the game going and makes it more fun. And it actually perpetuates the movement of that idea a lot more than if those walls weren’t there.
Unknown Speaker 8:36
Great analogy. Yeah.
Stephen Christopher 8:37
Yeah, it’s been a great lesson for me. And, you know, working with Trish and you and I’s relationship is that I have to remember that structure is actually positive. Whereas for a lot of my life, I would fight structure as a negative.
Unknown Speaker 8:52
You have it you have any
Unknown Speaker 8:56
anything specific like in terms of your business and how that’s structured. has maybe allowed you to have more freedom to do the other things that you love to do.
Stephen Christopher 9:09
Yeah, I mean, well, yeah, let’s let’s be real transparent here. So here’s what comes up for me, the the structure that I’ve created and that, you know, Laura, you’ve helped and that Andrea, our CEO and our leadership team has created has actually allowed me to not really have to do anything, right. So like, I don’t, I could not be involved in the company for, I don’t even know probably months and months, and nothing would happen, it would actually continue to grow more probably without me around than sometimes with me. And so the structures that we put in place have created that level of freedom. The interesting part about it that we’ve talked about in a lot of these other connected dots, episodes and even some of the previous episodes is how, until we start to really look at our identity and what makes What issues are what thoughts and things that come up in that identity, we’re always going to run into that same, you know, that same crisis down the road, right. So just like an entrepreneur that builds a company and then sells and thinks that maybe they won’t have scarcity or they won’t have fear of being trapped in the freedom, they’re gonna run into the exact same thing. So what the structure at wit specifically is done for me as it’s helped me started to address those things in my identity, or that used to be tied to my identity. start addressing them now. without, you know, like, exiting the business or something like that. So the structure has really helped not only one me get more freedom, but it started to help me address these other pieces that are like just inside me that I that I need to deal with.
Unknown Speaker 10:48
Well, interesting. So that quote, maybe goes a little bit farther. So it was
Unknown Speaker 10:54
structure to say it against.
Stephen Christopher 10:57
When when structure is done well. It allows more creativity,
Unknown Speaker 11:02
and more self awareness and more something, there’s something else there, based upon what you said is like, Okay, wait a minute, I get to see things differently. I get to see how my identity is tied up in this or in the context of wit.
Stephen Christopher 11:17
Yeah, I mean, it created freedom for me so that I was forced to look at those things. I was forced to look at like, okay, who am I? What fears are coming up what inadequacies imposter syndrome? And also what, what? Great greatnesses were coming up, right, like things that I maybe didn’t give myself credit for. And I would see them and look back. I mean, you know, specifically right now look at COVID. And wit is doing, you know, fantastic. And it’s funny, I hesitate. I almost feel guilty saying it but Wits doing really, really well because of the industry that we chose. And I chose that industry very intentionally as a resilient industry. Never knowing that something quite like this would happen but You don’t look that was a great, that
Unknown Speaker 12:01
was a great insight or vision that you had, you know how many years ago? I mean? Yeah, yeah. And giving yourself credit for that.
Stephen Christopher 12:11
Yep. So that was
Unknown Speaker 12:12
a guest on Steven that talks about the identity, our identities, and how do we get our identities? You know, I know Tony Robbins talks a lot about the story, and how you create your story, but your story then becomes the lens in which you see everything in giving up that identity, because I think that’s really hard for a lot of our listeners who are maybe trying to decide, okay, do I leave my company? Do I stay at my company? Do I leave my job? Do I change my career completely? Do I give up? You’d like one of our guests gave up nursing and who and that’s what she thought she always wanted to do. So do I do I do that? When it’s my identity, and I’ve built this and how do you define your identity and how do you redefine your identity Yeah,
Stephen Christopher 13:00
yeah. Well, for anybody listening, if you know a good book, if you know a good person, that would be a great, great interview for that, please, please share it with us. We’d, we’d really appreciate that. Let’s see. So other other stuff when we when we, when we talk about trashes interview, one of the other takeaways that I got is she, she, she mentioned about a deep sense of confidence in you. And there’s this whole knowing of wholeness, right, like, I think you mentioned at some point, like being all of your Laura ness, and we there’s like this guilt around, knowing that we are powerful, just as who we are right now. And privatized into identity like when I get there, then I will feel adequate. But right now, just allowing ourselves to have this deep sense of confidence in ourselves and the skills that we have today. We can always learn, we’re always going to grow, we’re always going to get better. But just that deep sense of knowing. And I don’t know, I think about that one often, now that she has shared it, just knowing that like, or actually, this is what else she said said. Basically, knowing that your powerful or a powerful person knows that they are powerful and they don’t need to prove it. So imagine living life each day from a standpoint of just simply knowing that you are unique. You are a unique individual, you have unique gifts you are here for, you know, specific opportunities, maybe not specific reasons, but you have specific opportunities that are unique to you to show while you’re here on this journey, right now. And if we just knew that every day, how would we look at the world differently? How would we approach you know everything,
Unknown Speaker 14:54
you certainly would have less fear, less feeling of scarcity, less anxiety, right? All some of those kind of what we call negative feelings. If you really deep down in your soul that was that was how you saw the world. It would be extremely powerful.
Stephen Christopher 15:18
Yeah, yeah. So I look, I encourage me, you and everybody else listening to, to try it on to know this know that you are powerful right now. And and being powerful means that you do not need to prove that just being the best version of yourself today and working to become a little bit better tomorrow.
Unknown Speaker 15:46
Yeah, I think
Unknown Speaker 15:47
that’s a great takeaway.
Unknown Speaker 15:50
You know, I’m sure that there’s a lot more that we could probably discuss related to trash and all the information you know, the jazz a scenario that she brought up, I think that is something that we can always all kind of tune into occasionally and be like, Okay, wait a minute, am I? Am I conducting an orchestra here? Or is this really an improv where I want to have a lot of different players coming at it?
Stephen Christopher 16:16
Yeah, it makes it makes life a lot more fun when you are playing and interacting with others, right? So, you know, the analogy of an orchestra, you’re a conductor and you’re just basically telling everybody what to do, which that’s, that’s great. It created does create beautiful music, but it’s but it’s essentially one person. And then when you get into more of a jazz improv, it’s just this flow of being able to move within a bigger group and have that group each add their own uniqueness to the music. And you know, I think even like Trish says, you know, I’m not a huge fan of jazz specifically as music, but when you but I am a fan of watching how it unfolds. And I think about that when I like day to day at wet when I am invited Then something I’m like, Okay, so I’m just one little piece of the best possible solution here. So I’m going to add the piece that I feel I, you know, that I know and that I desire to share. And then I’m going to make sure that the others are able to play an ad there’s as well, and then that ends up making it almost goes back to the container for creativity, right? Yes, absolutely. So yeah, but that’s, that’s a great analogy. And I think about that, I mean, look. entrepreneurs, right, we’re a funny breed. Oftentimes, we think we have the best answer when really, it’s complete BS. And I have to remember all the time and it’s taken me years and years, more than a decade, to start to remember that I don’t have the best answer. But I might be really good at helping a group of us get to the right answer,
Unknown Speaker 17:52
which is an amazing, unique quality about you. It is You’re welcome. You’re welcome. Look at that. You took a call Very well.
Stephen Christopher 18:01
Yeah. I mean, we’re all working every day.
Unknown Speaker 18:04
That’s better. That’s right.
Stephen Christopher 18:06
Cool. Any, any other parting thoughts from you on this one?
Unknown Speaker 18:11
I don’t think so.
Stephen Christopher 18:14
Okay, awesome. Well, I would recommend that anybody listen to this one. I know she mentioned it. And I know it’s all in the show notes and everything. I think it’s just the the homepage of our website, non ordinary.com. And there is going to be some sort of like a free thing that she she gave to anybody listening where they can go through and take the evaluation of the four forces and we’ll put it in the show notes too. But I would recommend it. It’s it’s an awesome framework that really helps you see things that are different from a different angle. So you might be able to see things that are causing frustration or something else in your life right now. So go and check that out. And until next time, we greatly appreciate you taking the time out of your day to listen, this is better Another episode of connect the dots where we talked about our episode with Trish Blain. And I already said this until next time, embrace the exciting unknown.